Sunday (Taxes) Musings

It is that time of year. As per usual, I put off taking my taxes to H&R Block. The month of March always gets away from me. Between Spring Break and birthdays and research papers it’s been a busy month.

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I read Atlas by Katrina Vandenberg while I was in Mexico. I bought the book while I was at AWP on the recommendation of a friend. The book is amazing. I copied several poems into my journal, because when I transcribe a poem, I feel like I understand it more. The language and content of these poems are fascinating. This is the blurb on the back of the book:

In the seventeenth century in the Netherlands, a virus fueled through the tulip trade, making the flowers’ veined petals so beautiful the price of bulbs soared. In the twentieth century in America, blood tainted with the AIDS virus was inadvertently transfused into the veins of hemophiliacs, eclipsing “the purpose that briefly lit their brilliant veins.”

Here are some of my favorite poems:

Jack O’ Lantern

My sister amd I grew pumpkins, cinderellas
by the vineful, until they nudged the feet
of Daddy’s sugar snow corn. She remembers waiting–waiting for their shells
to quicken with rain and each moon’s phase.
waiting for our father to carve the faces
we drew on the pumpkin with pencil, because
je saod girls could cut themselves with knives.

Here is what nobody seems to remember:
She was nineteen and pregnant and apologetic.
I was twelve and we were both aware that in fall
all things are round apples and raindrops,
harvest moons, squash. She asked him to carve
the smallest pumpkin in the parch for the baby
amd our father walked out, left us alone, two girls,
three pumpkins, slotted spoons, a butcher knife.

In the mirror the dark made of the kitchen window,
blushed by leaves, I asked her not to cry. Instead,
she cut into the pumpkins head and scraped
its wet insides from grainy walls, and then
abadoned her spoon. Her fingers wrestled
seeds from the pale gourd pulp until they slid,
separated from its skul through her hansd,
first as droplets, then as strings of pearls.

She said, we don’t need father anymore.
Wre can carve this ourselves. Watch me
slice out lips and eyes where non has been before.
When she hunched to light the votive,
it sputtered then it glowed. And after, when
we went outside to look at her finished lantern
from the road. I said I liked the way her light
shone through the face that flickered in the dark.

All Those Women on Fine September Afternoons
When she baked a pie, my mother’s hands were blackbirds;
they flecked butter at heaps of sugared
apples. Her hands were wings around the piecrusts edge,
and she fluttered it until it swooped around,
and down. Never worry your crust, she said.

You love crust like a child; roll it
and imagine it pretty and whole.

My grandmother could weigh flour
with her hands and measure vinegar with her eyes.
She rolled her crust with a rolling pin
cut by her father from a single apple limb.
My mother cut star cookies from what was left.

I think about my mother and her mother
and every mother before they came along
the days I roll out piecrust with the rolling pin
my grandmother gave me: the rolling pin
that was part of a tree, swelling apples

from blossoms, apples to swell and dimple
crurst. My God, think of it, all those women
on fine September afternoons like these,
rolling piecrust and not worrying,
seeing things whole.

The Floating

When he was dying, she stayed with him all night,
but one night, restless. she walked around a corner
and found a dim hall full of children’s breathing
rising from small white beds. She had drifted into
the flating, the children’s hospital boat
being rocked to sleep in the harbor again
the way it was a hundred summers ago.
The horizon of her life had vanished–traffic
lights, students with Chinese food takeout boxes
stories down. Now bustled dresses drooped
over the backs of chairs: now immigrant mothers
in flimsy shifts bent over beds and whispered,
tendrils of their hair escaping their tidy knots,
their feet unsteady on the pitch of breath.

Thursday (Magnolias) Musings

When I walked out the backdoor of my apartment complex today, I was pleasantly surprised to find the large Magnolia almost in bloom. I love spring, but until I moved to Indiana, I never really experienced it. Pennsylvania goes from frigid winters to blistering summers in about one week. In Erie, one you’ll look out your window and see snow drifts and the next day the forsythia and daffodils will be out in full bloom. Texas was even worse. We didn’t have winter, just a consistent state of gray followed by a busting out of color. Indy, however, has a true blue spring. It has been gradually warming and the flowering trees are almost ready to bloom. I plan on taking some time this weekend to snap some photographs.
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Mending Wall

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders of the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they would have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
But no one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet and walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use spell to make them balance:
Stay where you are until are backs are turned!”

Robert Frost
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Each year poet bloggers throughout the country participate in NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month). An adaptation of National Novel Writing Month, NaPoWriMo challenges participants to write and post a poem each day in April.
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Tuesday (Rejection) Musings

I received my first online rejection yesterday afternoon. This is a new form for me and it comes on the heels of my first set of online submissions. Currently, I’ve received four rejections out of twenty-one submissions. We shall see…
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While I was in Cabo, I read one novel and two collections of poetry. The poetry books, Atlas and Wedding Day were interesting, and I plan to blog more about them tomorrow. The novel, Vacation, by Deb Olin Unferth was a selection from the McSweeney’s book club that RJ and I joined.

It was an interesting read. I finished it feeling intrigued but annoyed at the same time. The characters were not likable, but I don’t think that’s why I had a problem with it. It was more that I couldn’t identify why I was reading the book. It wasn’t a gripping plot, I wasn’t invested in the characters, and I found the structure of the novel irritating at times. I suppose my entire feeling about the book could be summed up by saying, “so what?” The thing is, I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
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Monday (Welcome Spring!) Musings

While I enjoy traveling, I’m glad to be back at home. Our trip to Cabo was excellent but the flight back was a bit of a nightmare (7 hours in the Houston airport) but overall a great trip. We got home yesterday from the wedding, which was also enjoyable but as RJ put it, “I’m glad we’re not going anywhere for awhile.”

I’m going to post a separate photo collage of Mexico soon.
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A Riddle

Where far in forest I am laid,
In a place ringed around by stones,
Look for no melancholy shade,
And have no thoughts of buried bones;
For I am bodiless and bright,
And fill this glade with sudden glow;
The leaves are washed in under-light;
Shade lies upon the boughs like snow.

Richard Wilbur
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Tuesday (Fighting the good fight) Musings

I am armed with cold medicine and fluids. I will prevail!
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I heard back from one of the journals I sent to this weekend. As of now I’ve heard back from three, and the count is one confirmation and two rejections. The second rejection I wasn’t surprised about because it was a bit of a stretch to begin with, but the first one got on my nerves if only for the simple phrasing: Thank you for considering _____. Unfortunately, due to the large number of submissions we’ve received, we are not accepting new work at this time. Sincerely, The Editors at _____.

This is fine. No problem. However, you’d think they’d put that on their website so I didn’t spend money on postage and an SASE only to determine that they were no longer accepting new work. This brings me to my next point. Journals, if you have a website, please be careful with your updates. Web sites are the primary way in which writers collect information. When content isn’t up to date, it’s a bit problematic.
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I’m teaching pantoums on Thursday night and I’ve chosen this one as one of the examples:

Reading, Dreaming, Hiding

You were reading. I was dreaming
The color blue. The wind was hiding
In the trees and rain was streaming
Down the windows, full of darkness.
Rain was dreaming in the trees. You
Were full of darkness. The wind was streaming
Down the window, the color blue
I was reading and hiding.
The wind was full of darkness and rain
Was streaming in the trees and down the window
The color blue was full of darkness dreaming
In the winds and trees. I was reading you.

Kelly Cherry

Monday (Breathing out one side) Musings

One side of my nose is stuffed up. Weird. I plan to take some medicine ASAP. I will not be sick in Mexico. Damn it.
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Morning Song

The red dawn now is rearranging the earth
Thought by thought
Beauty by beauty
Each a sunrise link on the ladder
Thought by thought
Beauty by beauty
The ladder the backbone of a shimmering deity
Thought by thought
Beauty by beauty
Child stirring the web of your mother
Don’t be afraid
Old man turning to walk through the door
Do not be afraid.

Joy Harjo

Thursday (Sweetness) Musings

I’ve been thinking a lot about sugar lately. I know these thoughts were prompted by my cooking class. Last Friday we had to go around the room and “name” what kind of snack we’d be. People were cookies, chips, and potatoes. What was I? Baked goods. Specifically? Cupcakes. I blame this partially on my genes. My dad has a think for Hostess cupcakes. Did you know one of those cupcakes equals 2 servings? Yikes.

Anyway. When I was making my power spheres, I used natural fruit juice as a sweetener. I was feeling all health conscious until I realized I’ve been using Splenda in my tea for about two years. Can we say chemicals? So I had to buy a big jar of honey to make my honey wheat bread this weekend, and I decided that I’d go back to it as a natural sweetener. What I find funny about this, is when I was kid my mom used to keep honey in the fridge for her tea. I liked to eat it raw. I mean I was a kid, but it makes me think that sometimes simple is best.

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“Poetry is a confrontation of the whole being with reality…It is the basic struggle of the soul, the mind, and the body to comprehend life; to bring order to chaos or to phenomena: and by will and insight to create communicable verbal forms for the pleasure of mankind.”
~Richard Eberhart
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On a recent evening, I had supper with a friend, a television executive. Like me, she was born in the era of World War II; like mine, her life was altered by feminism. “Tell me,” I asked, “what you remember about poetry and the women’s movement?” I saw memory cross her face, and then she said something remarkable: “The women’s movement was poetry.”
A version of this essay will appear as the introduction to Poems of the Women’s Movement, edited by Honor Moore, which will be published by The Library of America, April 2, 2009.
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The heart sinks to see so many poems crammed so tightly together, like downcast immigrants in steerage. One can easily miss a radiant poem amid the many lackluster ones. It takes tremendous effort to read these small magazines with openness and attention. Few people bother, generally not even the magazines’ contributors. The indifference to poetry in the mass media has created a monster of the opposite kind—journals that love poetry not wisely but too well.
I’m used to reading articles that attack the workshop and blame it for everything that is wrong with the state of contemporary American poetry. I feel the same way every time I read these comments: I’m over it.
I am a product of this school. I took my first creative writing workshop when I was in high school with a visiting writer. We had to write a brief essay to apply for the workshop and my friend Emily and I were pleased to be among the chosen few. We were put into pairs and asked to free write over several topics. After about ten minutes, our writing was collected and the author chose a few pieces to read from the group. She read everyone’s piece aloud except for the piece Emily and I wrote. I suspected at the time, and still do, that this author didn’t like our story because it was darker and not about horses or teenage love. In fact, Emily and I wrote a story about a young girl loosing her parents. However, this didn’t suit the author’s taste, so we were cut.
While I remember being upset at the time, I think this whole experience is a good representation of what the writing world is like. Basically, stop whining and suck it up. Are there tons of MFA programs out there? Yes. Are they churning out a lot of mediocre writing? Yes. Was there a lot of mediocre writing before MFA programs? You bet. Also, since when did any student take a poetry workshop and then say “Hey, I’m a poet!” I don’t know many. Maybe I’m encountering the wrong poets, but if students are coming out with this gross misconception, then the fault is the teaching not the workshop.
Workshop is a place to build community. It is a place to receive feedback. Workshops do not teach you how to write. Workshops do not make you writer. Also, if people like your poetry, what does that mean anyway? I read reviews in reputable journals like Poetry and these people praise a collection. Two weeks later, I’ll read another review in another journal completely panning the entire book. Guess what? It’s subjective. My first writing workshop experience is very similar to how I feel about submitting to journals. I’ll be thrilled if my work is accepted somewhere, but at the end of the day it is the hands of an editor. Their taste is what makes the journal, so if you fall in line with that on some level, good for you. If not, better luck next time.
All workshops do is give writers (on any level) a venue to receive constructive feedback. If you’re going into an MFA or PhD program thinking that upon completion you’re going to be the next biggest thing in poetry (and what is that anyway?), then you’ve got some things to think about. _____________________________________________________________________

Wednesday (Rested!) Musings

I’m feeling much better today. I don’t know if I had a touch of something or it was just the normal exhaustion, but I seem to be back to center.
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R shared this quote with me today from his online class: “Reading is a performance of the written word” from Thinking in Type by Ellen Lupton. I like this quote. I think I’m going to hang it on my wall and point to it when students ask me “Why do we have to read?”
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As part of the class-action settlement, Google will pay $125 million to create a system under which customers will be charged for reading a copyrighted book, with the copyright holder and Google both taking percentages; copyright holders will also receive a flat fee for the initial scanning, and can opt out of the whole system if they wish.

A third and final novel by David Foster Wallace will be released posthumously by his longtime publisher, Little, Brown & Company, The Associated Press reported.